And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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