dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
