you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
