Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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