Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm bleeding and have questions
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
