dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
and she was petting her beer can
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
