I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize