ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
