First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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