i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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