I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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