I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
