Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
