Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize