Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
