I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
i think i just lost a toe
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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