The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
