They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
