please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
