how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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