This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
