Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
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I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
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I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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