My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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