what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
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Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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