To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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