...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize