drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
