He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
