well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
