yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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