apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
