So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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