there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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