I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize