So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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