I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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