i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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