I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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