Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
