Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Someone signed my nipple.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
