don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
