I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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