It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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