I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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