so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
