So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
