i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
