if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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