she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
