I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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