She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
