Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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