i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
