kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
