drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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