Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
