He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
