five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
