I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
