I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
