I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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