My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize