well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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